Trust me, I can't blame you for not saying anything but that's when I realized that these "gifts" Retrospec gives us aren't always so great.
[Fynn glances out the grand windows of his condo for a moment, his gaze just admiring the dim glow of Recollé at night. From up here, everything still looks the same. Everything still looks normal but this sense of normalcy is such a lie.]
You're not in this alone. I'll be there in a moment.
[He's already reaching for his keys on the table.]
When Fynn pulls up, Togusa is sitting on a bus stop bench. His whole body is held tense, one leg shaking in agitation. He’s been doing much the same as Fynn, looking out on the city, anywhere other than that bright blue sign, still stands out against everything else. Right this second, he doesn’t know what he’s most afraid of. What will Retrospec do to them next? What will he be capable of the more Retrospec pushes him?
Is this guy that Retrospec is trying to turn him into capable of vigilantism? He’s better trained. More dangerous than Togusa, at least.
It is a relief unlike anything he’s ever felt when Fynn’s car appears. He closes his eyes, his shoulders shake, and he offers up a silent thanks to whoever might be listening. His eyes are rimmed with red, and he cant stop trembling, the aftereffects of an adrenaline dump.
Unlike most people, Fynn does understand where his colleague is coming from. He understands better than most. Truth be told, Fynn is a little surprised that not more people are taking up arms against Retrospec. Is the general public really this sickeningly passive? Seems so. This whole debacle reminds him of something dark, a distant memory he simply can't touch upon. Fynn been weighing in on his memories about Cocoon as of late, his dreams haunted by a past he utterly forgotten until recently. It should go without saying that Fynn feels like he's losing his mind during all this but he doesn't dare voice it. There's just too many people who depend on him, one too many.
So when he drives up to the lonely bus stop, Fynn masks all the worries and doubts yet again. He replaces it all with genuine concern and a smile. Oh, and coffee. He stopped by one of those 24 hour delis along the way to fetch them some coffee. It's a little cool out here tonight and Fynn thought his colleague would appreciate something warm. Recollé PD might not like donuts but all of them certainly like caffeine well enough.
"You look like hell." Fynn says as he closes the car door behind him. That beautifully silver Nissan GTR definitely looks like and oddity here by the bus stop but it fits in with the gray backdrop of this sleepy city. "I'm guessing the look is appropriate all things considered." Fynn jokes as he approaches with coffee at hand.
"Here you go." He says with a faint smile. "Something to chase away the cold."
Fynn's thoughtfulness actually gets a real smile on Togusa's face. He reaches out with both hands to grab the coffee, wraps fingers around it to warm up a little. "Thank you." There aren't really words for how grateful he is, for the fact that Fynn is here at all, let alone the coffee.
Togusa shuts his eyes and he takes a very long breath out that seems to deflate his whole form, shoulders slump, and he tries to get a handle on himself. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."
"I just-" He looks up again, looks over Fynn. "Well, I don't have to spell it out for you. You're right there with me. Which is why I called you, instead of anybody else." He knew Fynn would come. And he knew Fynn would have the ability to stop him cold if for some reason Togusa didn't calm the hell down, but that's a different story.
"How am I supposed to protect them?" The question that keeps rattling around in his mind. This might be what has driven Togusa here tonight.
Fynn simply shrugs his shoulders. "Think nothing of it." He replies with a grin before settling on the bench next to him. It's not exactly cold out but sitting out here for too long would give anyone the chills. That's why Fynn has that signature blue jacket on that Jirou gave him. It's just a damn shame it still appears gray.
For awhile Fynn doesn't say anything. He's listening to the quite ambience of the city, his mind currently free from any thought until Togusa speaks. "Yea, I hear you loud and clear already." Fynn whispers as he rests his chin within his hand. "How can you protect them all when you're a victim yourself, right?" He peeks over at Togusa for a minute before sipping at his coffee.
"That's a tough one to answer, honest. I've been stewing about that too." Fynn hasn't been able to find the answer yet either.
Togusa nods along. There's a slight frown, "I wouldn't- think of myself as a victim." Pause. "Says the man with microscopic machines in his brain." Togusa lets go of the coffee to run a hand over his face. Even he realizes that he's being ridiculous.
"We can sit here and debate over the same questions, the whys, the hows, even though I know it doesn't actually matter. And I know it doesn't justify doing anything back to Retrospec outside of the bounds of the law. But god damn it." Quiet frustration finally puts some tone into his voice.
He falls silent again, looking out at the same patterns of movement in the city he's been using to distract himself. They can't get away from it. No matter where they are or what they're doing, there's always a reminder that Retrospec is in their lives. From the color of the sky, to now, the little constant notification floating in the corner of Togusa's vision. He's disconnected right now, nothing active is coming in, but there's still an icon.
A sardonic chuckle escapes him. There's no humor to be had in any of this but sometimes Fynn can't help but laugh. If he doesn't, he might try to put a bullet right between Jim Halloway's eyes. "It's sickening." He admits with a slight hiss. "Legit sickening. I don't like how they hold all the cards against us either but what can we do? We've been dealt a bad hand but we still need to persevere." Fynn glances over at Togusa for a moment and sighs.
"How are you holding up though since...the upgrade?" Fynn still doesn't know what to think about this cyberbrain business but he knows it's a touchy subject for Togusa.
Persevere. Togusa nods at that word in particular. He knows. He thought he was better at it than this. It’s just a slip, one nobody but Fynn needs to know about, because he didn’t do anything stupid.
“Still- learning to control it,” Togusa admits. “A few more accidental messages or pictures. People are getting used to it.” He waves a hand in front of his face, indicating something in his vision. “If I’m online, anything people post shows up right here. Figuring out how to get rid of it.” It’s been irritating and amusing in turn.
“I’m trying not to worry that it’s not going to stop here.”
"Worrying is just fine." Fynn states before taking a generous sip of his coffee. It's hazelnut with a hint of vanilla, his favorite. He made sure that the barista went easy on the sugar for the both of them. The creamers alone are sweet enough on their own. Sugar would just be overkill at this point. "I think all of us should be rather damn concerned about what's going on. The other day, this poor girl lost her eye." He grumbles under his breath as he recalls the entire incident.
"And now Barnes loses his name arm?" Fynn sighs. "It's becoming more and more apparent that these changes we're experiencing are becoming more dramatic. That means we're inbound for a complete disaster." A disaster none of them are quite ready to cope with yet.
Togusa grips the coffee cup tight. Even with all the sweetness of the cream, he barely tastes it, the tang of adrenaline overpowering anything else. "If Retrospec is getting us ready for something, I wish they would get on with telling us what it is."
"And stop crippling people in the meantime. I'm usually the first to try to find what their reason is, but this second? I don't give a damn." A deep sigh.
"I had to talk to Barnes' dad, James couldn't come up with a good explanation on his own. I have never spun a lie so fast in my life. But it's fucked up that I have to lie in the first place."
Fynn gives Togusa another sympathetic glance. "Imagine if they did tell us. Just how many not us would try to run? Think about it. Not everyone is built for this kind of stuff." He states as he gazes upon the city before them. From here everything looks so normal, so mundane. However, that couldn't be any further from the truth.
"It's kind of hard to give a damn about the 'why's' when they're running people's lives." He whispers more to himself than tho Togusa. "I don't even know what Barnes is suppose to do anymore. He's too young to be some damn cripple. The boy isn't even eighteen and now he loses his arm?"
He pauses once he hears that last bit. "What did you...tell him?"
Togusa's eyes shut in a pained sympathy for a second. Definitely not his proudest moment. "Had to claim it was a car accident. What else could do that much damage that suddenly? Driver conveniently had to have died." He sounds sour about that part.
He pauses for a long time, so long it might seem that is all Togusa is going to say on the matter, until he shakes his head. "There's a surgical option. Something that I remember, Retrospec has shown it to me. More of the micromachines, but they're temporary, one-time use, burn up fast. Program them to do a surgery, the heal time is a lot faster."
He waves a hand in the vague direction of the hospital, even though they are very far from it. "Go talk to any surgeon in there, and they'll be able to explain it better than I can." He lets his hand fall. "But it makes me wonder if it's only an option because of me." And yet that makes him sound more defeated than ever.
"A car accident?" Fynn frowns quite a bit when he hears that. "Christ, Togusa! What if the father demands to see the proof? What then? Are you going to forge the entire incident?" There's such a thing as going too far into the rabbit's hole and this happens to be one of them.
"Micromachines? We're talking micro technology?" He arches his brow some. "I know from my memories that all sorts of miraculous wonders were bestowed to us by the fal'Cie. They could easily heal the wounded or sick. In fact, I don't remember anyone missing an arm or leg that wasn't reconstructed through science and technology." Fynn sits there and let's all the information stew for a bit before saying the following.
"Maybe." He replies after a moment of pensive silence. "But is that a bad thing?"
Togusa bristles, his patience far shorter than normal right now. "What the hell else was I supposed to say? How else does a kid lose an arm in a damn afternoon!" He puts the coffee cup down and runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he takes a long breath out. But he does listen. Fynn's not the person to be angry at.
Togusa slowly looks at Fynn in curiosity, melting some of the helpless feeling at the whole situation. He is remembering something similar? "fal'Cie?" He tries to repeat the unfamiliar word. "Something like what your brother can do?" He is slowly piecing together the picture of the world that the two of them (presumably) come from.
But Fynn's last comment is unnerving. Like Togusa can't just take the credit for this. "It'll have been one of the few good things Retrospec's done," he mutters.
His colleague's outburst is met with a deep sigh. "I know, I know..." Fynn mutters under his breath as he looks anywhere but in Togusa's direction. There wasn't much Togusa could say other than that but surely the parents would want to sue the deceased driver's family. That's what worries Fynn most about this grand lie. It could easily unravel at the seams if they're not careful.
"Not exactly." He mumbles his reply as he pries out a cigarette from his pocket. Bad habit, a new bad habit. Stress sort of steered Fynn down this path. "Or maybe it's just like his powers but humans aren't suppose to wield magic." Fynn comments as he lights up. After a few pulls, he explains.
"Ardyn's abilities are...unique." Fynn sighs. "Strangely unique. I still don't know what to think about them but I've never known man to erase time like that." That's exactly what Ardyn does, isn't? "He erases everything done to a person and heals them from head to toe. It's beyond simple tender caring and more like this supernatural bullshit I can't even begin to comprehend." There's an odd hint of bitterness in Fynn's tone that overwhelms him. Not jealousy but definitely something akin to anger.
"Remember, no good deed goes unpunished." A pause. "Ever."
"I've got to trust that James can keep his father focused on him." It's the best that Togusa can do. The man is dealing with enough, Togusa has to hope that it's too much for him to continue to pursue this.
Togusa eyes Fynn producing a cigarette cautiously. Not his choice, but it's a sign that Togusa isn't the only one strained right now. "Humans aren't supposed to wield magic?" Togusa repeats. "Is that why Ardyn's abilities come with so much of a cost? Whatever happened to him, it wasn't supposed to." He shakes his head.
"It's-" Hmm. "I worry for Ardyn. And he's the exact kind of person to lose himself to those abilities. He cares. A lot. It's. Strange. He makes himself so much larger than life, almost into a caricature, but I know he does think highly of himself, and somehow cares for himself last at the exact same time." He glances at Fynn. "The more you two can learn, maybe you can help him before it's too late."
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[Togusa is shaking on his end, hands trembling too badly to be of any use.]
But they took his arm.
James Barnes, the kid you busted because Retrospec sent him an arm in the mail and he tried to get rid of it. It was a warning.
He woke up this morning without his left arm.
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[The words are accidentally said rather than typed. He stands there for a moment peering at the screen in shock.]
They took his arm? They took James' fucking arm?!
[Fynn inhales sharply. This reminds him too much what happened last month with that girl.]
...they did the same thing to a girl, you know? They took her eye. She logged into the network screaming for help.
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I saw. I- fuck, I was too much of a coward to post. Because what do you say? Cant tell her it’s going to be okay, because it isn’t.
And now James. I could keep it together when I was with him, you know? Figure out a plan, get some food in him, all the little instrumental things.
But once I dropped him off, it all hit me and I just started walking and now I’m here.
I’m not capable of this. I’m not. Help?
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[Fynn glances out the grand windows of his condo for a moment, his gaze just admiring the dim glow of Recollé at night. From up here, everything still looks the same. Everything still looks normal but this sense of normalcy is such a lie.]
You're not in this alone. I'll be there in a moment.
[He's already reaching for his keys on the table.]
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When Fynn pulls up, Togusa is sitting on a bus stop bench. His whole body is held tense, one leg shaking in agitation. He’s been doing much the same as Fynn, looking out on the city, anywhere other than that bright blue sign, still stands out against everything else. Right this second, he doesn’t know what he’s most afraid of. What will Retrospec do to them next? What will he be capable of the more Retrospec pushes him?
Is this guy that Retrospec is trying to turn him into capable of vigilantism? He’s better trained. More dangerous than Togusa, at least.
It is a relief unlike anything he’s ever felt when Fynn’s car appears. He closes his eyes, his shoulders shake, and he offers up a silent thanks to whoever might be listening. His eyes are rimmed with red, and he cant stop trembling, the aftereffects of an adrenaline dump.
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So when he drives up to the lonely bus stop, Fynn masks all the worries and doubts yet again. He replaces it all with genuine concern and a smile. Oh, and coffee. He stopped by one of those 24 hour delis along the way to fetch them some coffee. It's a little cool out here tonight and Fynn thought his colleague would appreciate something warm. Recollé PD might not like donuts but all of them certainly like caffeine well enough.
"You look like hell." Fynn says as he closes the car door behind him. That beautifully silver Nissan GTR definitely looks like and oddity here by the bus stop but it fits in with the gray backdrop of this sleepy city. "I'm guessing the look is appropriate all things considered." Fynn jokes as he approaches with coffee at hand.
"Here you go." He says with a faint smile. "Something to chase away the cold."
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Togusa shuts his eyes and he takes a very long breath out that seems to deflate his whole form, shoulders slump, and he tries to get a handle on himself. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."
"I just-" He looks up again, looks over Fynn. "Well, I don't have to spell it out for you. You're right there with me. Which is why I called you, instead of anybody else." He knew Fynn would come. And he knew Fynn would have the ability to stop him cold if for some reason Togusa didn't calm the hell down, but that's a different story.
"How am I supposed to protect them?" The question that keeps rattling around in his mind. This might be what has driven Togusa here tonight.
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For awhile Fynn doesn't say anything. He's listening to the quite ambience of the city, his mind currently free from any thought until Togusa speaks. "Yea, I hear you loud and clear already." Fynn whispers as he rests his chin within his hand. "How can you protect them all when you're a victim yourself, right?" He peeks over at Togusa for a minute before sipping at his coffee.
"That's a tough one to answer, honest. I've been stewing about that too." Fynn hasn't been able to find the answer yet either.
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"We can sit here and debate over the same questions, the whys, the hows, even though I know it doesn't actually matter. And I know it doesn't justify doing anything back to Retrospec outside of the bounds of the law. But god damn it." Quiet frustration finally puts some tone into his voice.
He falls silent again, looking out at the same patterns of movement in the city he's been using to distract himself. They can't get away from it. No matter where they are or what they're doing, there's always a reminder that Retrospec is in their lives. From the color of the sky, to now, the little constant notification floating in the corner of Togusa's vision. He's disconnected right now, nothing active is coming in, but there's still an icon.
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"How are you holding up though since...the upgrade?" Fynn still doesn't know what to think about this cyberbrain business but he knows it's a touchy subject for Togusa.
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“Still- learning to control it,” Togusa admits. “A few more accidental messages or pictures. People are getting used to it.” He waves a hand in front of his face, indicating something in his vision. “If I’m online, anything people post shows up right here. Figuring out how to get rid of it.” It’s been irritating and amusing in turn.
“I’m trying not to worry that it’s not going to stop here.”
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"And now Barnes loses his name arm?" Fynn sighs. "It's becoming more and more apparent that these changes we're experiencing are becoming more dramatic. That means we're inbound for a complete disaster." A disaster none of them are quite ready to cope with yet.
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"And stop crippling people in the meantime. I'm usually the first to try to find what their reason is, but this second? I don't give a damn." A deep sigh.
"I had to talk to Barnes' dad, James couldn't come up with a good explanation on his own. I have never spun a lie so fast in my life. But it's fucked up that I have to lie in the first place."
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"It's kind of hard to give a damn about the 'why's' when they're running people's lives." He whispers more to himself than tho Togusa. "I don't even know what Barnes is suppose to do anymore. He's too young to be some damn cripple. The boy isn't even eighteen and now he loses his arm?"
He pauses once he hears that last bit. "What did you...tell him?"
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He pauses for a long time, so long it might seem that is all Togusa is going to say on the matter, until he shakes his head. "There's a surgical option. Something that I remember, Retrospec has shown it to me. More of the micromachines, but they're temporary, one-time use, burn up fast. Program them to do a surgery, the heal time is a lot faster."
He waves a hand in the vague direction of the hospital, even though they are very far from it. "Go talk to any surgeon in there, and they'll be able to explain it better than I can." He lets his hand fall. "But it makes me wonder if it's only an option because of me." And yet that makes him sound more defeated than ever.
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"Micromachines? We're talking micro technology?" He arches his brow some. "I know from my memories that all sorts of miraculous wonders were bestowed to us by the fal'Cie. They could easily heal the wounded or sick. In fact, I don't remember anyone missing an arm or leg that wasn't reconstructed through science and technology." Fynn sits there and let's all the information stew for a bit before saying the following.
"Maybe." He replies after a moment of pensive silence. "But is that a bad thing?"
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Togusa slowly looks at Fynn in curiosity, melting some of the helpless feeling at the whole situation. He is remembering something similar? "fal'Cie?" He tries to repeat the unfamiliar word. "Something like what your brother can do?" He is slowly piecing together the picture of the world that the two of them (presumably) come from.
But Fynn's last comment is unnerving. Like Togusa can't just take the credit for this. "It'll have been one of the few good things Retrospec's done," he mutters.
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"Not exactly." He mumbles his reply as he pries out a cigarette from his pocket. Bad habit, a new bad habit. Stress sort of steered Fynn down this path. "Or maybe it's just like his powers but humans aren't suppose to wield magic." Fynn comments as he lights up. After a few pulls, he explains.
"Ardyn's abilities are...unique." Fynn sighs. "Strangely unique. I still don't know what to think about them but I've never known man to erase time like that." That's exactly what Ardyn does, isn't? "He erases everything done to a person and heals them from head to toe. It's beyond simple tender caring and more like this supernatural bullshit I can't even begin to comprehend." There's an odd hint of bitterness in Fynn's tone that overwhelms him. Not jealousy but definitely something akin to anger.
"Remember, no good deed goes unpunished." A pause. "Ever."
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Togusa eyes Fynn producing a cigarette cautiously. Not his choice, but it's a sign that Togusa isn't the only one strained right now. "Humans aren't supposed to wield magic?" Togusa repeats. "Is that why Ardyn's abilities come with so much of a cost? Whatever happened to him, it wasn't supposed to." He shakes his head.
"It's-" Hmm. "I worry for Ardyn. And he's the exact kind of person to lose himself to those abilities. He cares. A lot. It's. Strange. He makes himself so much larger than life, almost into a caricature, but I know he does think highly of himself, and somehow cares for himself last at the exact same time." He glances at Fynn. "The more you two can learn, maybe you can help him before it's too late."